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I’m doing a group assignment with people who obviously don’t read what they’ve written. A dangerous oversight for people who write well, but when English is your second language and you’re not strong in it – it’s deadly.
Take this sentence for example:
Consideration are being taken into account on the concentration of particulate matter, with exceeding 5 could be considered acceptable according to the EPA.
It only made slightly more sense in context, I knew that he was talking about air quality and release dust and toxins into the air. Presumably 5 means 5µg/m3.
My plea is this: read over what you write and remove all unnecessary words! More words do not make you sound more intelligent, so keep it simple. The above sentence could become:
The concentration of particulate matter may be taken under consideration by the EPA; exceeding limits by 5µg/m3 might be acceptable.
or
Considerations are taken into account, concentrations of particulate matter 5µg/m3 over the limit may be considered acceptable by the EPA.
I’m sure you could simplify it more than I have. I know I’ve been guilty of excess wordage – I’m working on it! Any suggestions?
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{ 4 comments }
There’s a good article at cj’s blog about English usage http://cjwriter.com. I think he experiences some of the frustrations you speak of.
And, apologies for being off topic, but I’m meant to let you know I tagged you…
Cool, I’ll take a look at that.
I haven’t gone for tags much lately but I’ll do that one. :P
Excess wordage and overdescription are big gripes of mine. Easy to do, but I just don’t see the point; you’ve only got someone’s attention for so long, why put anything in there that makes it harder to read?
Whenever I see it in a book, I want to throw it out the window! Matthew Reilly’s top of my list with Dan Brown, though it’s not all their fault; once you sell that many books, who needs editors, right? :curious:
I think a good rule is just to write naturally; read it back and if it doesn’t sound like something you could read aloud, then you’ve used too many words. Your first rewrite sounds perfect to me, btw; much easier to understand. :up:
Thanks CJ! I can’t remember which one I used, but reading them now the first rewrite is much easier to follow.
I’ve been very guilty of using excess words. It’s mainly in the way I speak (probably influenced by the way my parents speak), then sometimes I write the way I speak. My husband often tells me to stop and think about what I’m saying because he lost track (although sometimes I think he just doesn’t listen hard enough!).
So, I’m working on it – it’d be nice if others did to!
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